Please Don't

We sit next to each other in the car but there is no music
I always held your left hand but now you’re picking at your lips

Jaejoong hated her.

He hated Boa and her perfection. The way her eyes crinkled up when she smiled, the way her hair fell over her shoulders effortlessly, the way her voice drifted off when she talked, as if her thoughts weren’t complete and held a deeper meaning.

But he didn‘t want to hate her. She didn’t deserve it.

I know what you’re going to say, please don’t say it
Don’t know why, Don’t know why
I want to draw out each minute, each second
But the empty road rushes me on

He hated her when she told him she had a boyfriend. This boyfriend turned out to be none other than his best friend, Yunho. Jaejoong’s life spiraled down from that point. Boa and Yunho began spending all their time together, and although Jaejoong was usually invited, he almost always turned them down, not wanting to be the third wheel. He didn’t want to release the tears that gathered when he was around the two of them.

After going round and round
I arrive at your house that’s so familiar and tears fall
After spending a long day finding this place
I feel like I am lost

However, against his wishes, he spent most of his time with them. He was dragged along to countless numbers of events. Jaejoong couldn’t stand being around the two of them together. It became too much for him. As a result, he started avoiding them. Jaejoong would remain locked in his room for hours on end, asking himself why he had to feel this way. Eventually the couple became concerned, deciding to call the recluse whenever he hid from the world. Jaejoong retaliated by not answering any calls. Well, not any made by Boa. He answered most of Yunho’s calls, trying to do so begrudgingly. The couple thought Jaejoong was getting better, when in reality he was slowly becoming more and more depressed. At one mention of Boa, Jaejoong stopped answering Yunho’s calls, and the couple was at a loss of what to do.

Please don’t, please don’t leave
Don’t know why, Don’t know why
It’s not even raining but outside the window
You grow white and farther apart



It wasn’t long before Yunho and Boa were engaged and Jaejoong’s heart was shattered. He had stopped hiding from them at Yunho’s request, but the pain came back stronger than ever. When they showed him the rings, all he could do to keep from breaking down was dig his fingernails into his palms and hoping no blood was drawn. He hated her so much.

Months passed before it was finally the day of the marriage. Jaejoong was invited and urged to attend by Yunho, and he couldn’t say no. Yunho wanted him to be the best man. It was the least he could do after avoiding them so much.

Letting you go is not as easy as it sounds
I turn away, not being able to see you leave me
Tears eventually drop and I need to wipe them away now
I don’t know whether I should use the handkerchief you gave me or throw it away
Why won’t this trembling go away?

The marriage tore Jaejoong up. Seeing Boa walk up the aisle made him want to pull his heart out and throw it as far as he could. It came as a shock to him when he didn’t do just that. His hands trembled and he had to bite down on his lower lip to keep himself from crying. As the rings were slipped onto their fingers, Jaejoong felt his heart in his throat.

I pretend to be crazy and hold onto you but
My body won’t listen to me
Intoxicated with the scent of you in the car
I don’t want to wake up forever

He hated Boa now more than ever. But he couldn’t hate her. She made Yunho happy. And making Yunho happy was all that he had wanted to do for the longest time. In order to stop hating Boa, he had to let go of Yunho, and that was something he just couldn’t do.

Please don’t, Please don’t leave
Come back, Come back
I will hold onto the remaining scent
So come back to your place